YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE BUTT
My mom is dying of cancer. I wrote this just to vent some of the anger I feel about it. If you read this and you are/know someone who is dying of cancer, or has died, please know you have my sympathies. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.
You are a complete pain in the arse and several other places too. You are vindictive and you never let up. You are always hurting someone. Even if people have lived a hateful live, that doesn't give you the right to come along and hurt them. No-one deserves the misery you bring to the world. I wish you would f**k off and never come back EVER!
But things don't work that way. The first time we met was in around 1981...! I don't remember exactly when because I was quite young. One minute I was enjoying my life as a young kid, then you had to come along and ruin everything! You took my grandfather away from my Dad. And my great aunt then also died because of you. You didn't directly kill her, but she and my grandfather were inseperable and when you took him, she lost the will to live and died of a broken heart. I wish that could've been the end of it, but no, you just hadn't finished had you? You attacked both my grandmothers and my step-grandad.
Then came my father in law and my brother in law. Two men who I still hadn't got to know well enough. And just to be a real bitch to my family, because you hadn't done enough to us, you decided to kill my dog, one of my cats and my beautiful white rabbit. I hoped after that, you and I would part company never to meet again; that finally you had disappeared for good and that my family and my pets could live happily until they died naturally of old age. And for a few years I didn't see you. But you were just waiting for another chance to be a twat weren't you?
In 2014, you returned. Except this time you decided to use a different tactic. Instead of aiming at my family, you aimed at one of my friends. I never got to know my pal Ray well enough, but thanks to some help from his wife, my beloved friend Tara, I did at least know him a bit. To leave me without my friend and her without her life companion was as cruel as aiming at my family.
And now, here you are again, attacking the one person that means everything to me!
My mum. She stood by me, no matter how bad things got and she was always there for me. She would jump for joy when I succeeded, scold me when I did wrong, look after me when I was sad and more than anything was my best friend in the whole world when no-one else would be. She is the only member of my immediate family who ever cared about me. We only had each other. My mom and I love each other so much and were always so close. We laughed together, cried together, got mad together, and talked about girls stuff together. I don't know what I would do without her. And now I am going to lose her to you too.
But you've made a mistake this time. Like my great aunt, I too am suffering from the immense sadness that I am going to lose the one person that I can't face my life without. I am losing the will to live too. However, I will not let you kill me, directly or indirectly. I will not die for you!!
Cancer: You have may have killed many members of my beloved family, one friend and my beautiful pets, but even though you have pulled me into sadness, because you are taking my mother away, that is as far I will go for you. I am sad now and hell, it hurts, but you will never take my life because I will NOT let you. You've picked the wrong person to fight with.
So leave! And never come near me again!!
"You can't whack death on the head!" ~ Arnold Rimmer
"You kidding!? If it comes near me, I'm going to rip its nipples off!!" ~ Dave Lister
Red Dwarf - Future Echoes